A Story About Waterbeds, Beetles and Ether

Behold the mukluk and my middle finger

As I tried to defend myself, my powers of persuasion became seriously compromised by an intrusive vision of Curious George.

I Would Totally Do Barack

Of course I would never do anything to hurt Michelle and the kids, or jeopardize the presidency, but if I was asked to, you know, do the president for the good of the nation, I would so do it.

My Kitchen Exorcism

Each year at this time I am overwhelmed by a powerful and irrational urge to pass myself off as a credible “fabric softener person.”

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